Beyond the Steps: The Male Role Creating a Safe Community

Sep 2, 2025

—

by

Due to recent news, we have seen a big commotion, discussion, and people invested in creating ways to make forró communities and associations safe. However it is no surprise that the people leading the majority of these discussions are women. I am not here to talk about why that happens, but I think it is important to point out some facts:

Based on my research in 2023 about the Forró community in the EU, around 40% of regulars in forró are male compared to 60% female.
Many of those men are leaders in associations, part of the board, teachers, musicians, and DJs.

So, I question: Where are the men who do not stand by what happened? Are they talking among each other?

While some men in the dance community are already respectful allies, these actions are a collective responsibility for all who do not support this kind of behavior. It is not enough to simply “not harass” someone; being an active participant in creating a safe environment is essential.

Men should take a position when in the presence of harassment, physical aggression, and any other type of violence. It is important that the aggressor is aware that his behavior is not acceptable.

The Male Responsibility to Act

Prevention starts with a personal commitment to respect. This means understanding and upholding boundaries, both on and off the dance floor.

Respect “No”: This is the most fundamental rule. A dancer has the right to refuse a dance, stop a dance, or change partners at any time for any reason. A “no” is a complete sentence and should be respected without question or judgment.

Read too: Dealing With Rejection on the Dance Floor

Understand Personal Space: Forró involves close contact, but it’s not an invitation to touch or invade someone’s personal space beyond the dance frame. A firm dance hold is not an excuse for unwelcome touching or grabbing.

Check Your Partners: Use verbal or non-verbal cues to ensure your partner is comfortable. Asking “Is this okay?” or paying attention to their body language shows you prioritize their comfort.

Being an Ally for Victims

When someone is a victim of harassment, a man’s role is to believe and support them, not to question or defend the perpetrator.

Listen and Believe: If a woman or anyone tells you they have been harassed, listen to their story without questioning its validity. The first and most important step is to believe them. Avoid minimizing their experience with phrases like “He’s a good guy” or “Maybe it was a misunderstanding.”

Offer Support: Ask them what they need. This could be anything from walking them to their car, helping them report the incident, or simply giving them a space to talk without interruption.

Respect Their Wishes: Do not take action without their permission. If they ask you not to report the incident, respect their choice. Your role is to support them, not to dictate their response.

The Courage to Intervene

Bystander intervention is a powerful tool. It involves safely and effectively stepping in when you witness a harmful situation.

Address the Behavior, Not the Person: When you see someone behaving inappropriately, a direct and calm approach is often most effective. For example, say, “Hey man, that’s not cool,” or “Please stop,” rather than attacking their character.

Create a Distraction: If direct confrontation isn’t safe or comfortable, create a diversion. You can walk up to the person being harassed and ask to dance with them, effectively separating them from the harasser.

Report to Organizers: If you witness harassment, report it to the event organizers or the designated safety team. Providing a clear and factual account helps the association address the issue and hold the individual accountable.

Men, Take a Clear Position

It’s very important for men to take a clear position as allies in the fight against harassment. This means moving beyond the passive role of not being a harasser and actively working to create a safe community. Men have a unique and crucial role to play: they can speak directly to other men, an audience that often listens differently.

Always stand by the victim. This includes addressing sexist jokes in a group of friends or situations that are considered “just jokes” in any environment.

While it’s tempting to think that women should be the ones to educate men on these issues, it is not their responsibility. As the majority of victims are women, it is unfair and emotionally taxing to ask them to carry the burden of both enduring harassment and teaching others how not to do it.

The responsibility lies with men to listen, learn from each other, and hold themselves and their peers accountable.