Hello and welcome back! =)
Today we are going to talk about another topic very dear to sex educators: RESPECT.
As I always do, let’s start talking about the etymology of this word: it comes from Latin respicere, which means “to look back.” You didn’t see this coming, did you? Well, let’s see this from another perspective…
Have you ever hiked? In hiking, there is one basic rule: keep up with the slowest. But, if you don’t look back and see how the slowest person is walking, how do you do that? I know this can sound new and odd, but the more you read this, the more it will make sense, I promise.
How do we apply respect to forró? We can apply it in a lot of ways:
– respect towards ourselves
– respect towards the person we are dancing with
– respect towards the space we occupy during the dance
– respect towards the space we use when not dancing
Let me give you some tips about every kind of respect written above.
HOW TO RESPECT OURSELVES?
Listen to your body. Our body says a lot, and we never take enough time to listen to it. So, I suggest you make a check before leaving for forró; maybe you discover it is not the right decision to make that night…
A few basic questions to do a check: Is my body tired? Is it sore? Does it need sleeping, resting, food, or water? Are these shoes comfortable? Am I comfortable in these clothes? Is the phone/keys/wallet in my pocket bothering me? Have I eaten too much to dance? Is there something itchy that is scratching me? Do I prefer to use glasses or contacts for the dance tonight?
HOW TO RESPECT OUR DANCE PARTNER?
I suggest doing a sensory check, also with your dance partner or, even better, with a very good friend in forró:
– Taste: Is my breath ok? (maybe don’t eat garlic or onions before going to forró XD); no, it’s not good to “taste” people when dancing without their consent.
– Hearing: Am I speaking too loud? Are we too close to the sound boxes? Am I bothering my partner if I sing while we dance?
– Smell: please check your breath and smell. For Brazilians to be cheiroso/a is a priority and basic education, and since we are dancing forró and not another ballroom dance from another country, please respect their culture (and the others’ noses).
– Sight: If your partner is wearing glasses, please be careful, especially with turns.
– Touch: Well, I believe this topic is the very basic of forró and would need a whole moment all for itself (even better a class), but anyway, let me give you some check suggestions.
Check if there is something in your pockets that can somehow bother the other person; check the embrace (if you are not feeling comfortable, remember you can always say it and also stop the dance). Adequate the way you dance to the person you are dancing with (e.g., don’t exaggerate just to “show off”; you might be hurting your partner); don’t squeeze the other’s hand; watch out for long nails and/or long hair and how it’s tied; wash your hands after using the toilet; don’t sexually approach another person without his/her/their consent; and so on…
HOW TO RESPECT THE SPACE SURROUNDING DURING THE DANCE?
In this case, I suggest always having “one eye open” while dancing to avoid hurting yourself, your partner, or the other couples. Be aware that you are not alone on the dance floor, and maybe that aerial you want to do doesn’t have enough space to be executed. I suggest you all follow a class about this with Marilia Cervi, as soon as you can.
WHAT ABOUT THE SPACE WE USE WHEN NOT DANCING?
Come on, that’s easy: dispose of your trash in the bins, remember to pick up all your stuff when leaving, use toilets in a decorous manner, and do not scream when leaving the venue—it could be in a residential neighborhood.
As you can see, so many little things can change how we respect ourselves and everyone/everything else. Be present in your body and the moment, so you can feel them and work on them more. ❤
*If you want to share other ways of being respectful, please do it below or under the Instagram post at forró events.
Maria Luisa Candellieri, sex educator and forrozeira.
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